This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize