Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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