your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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