i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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