Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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  (202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now. http://tfl.nu/vtz7
  Replies (20) Good night (2661) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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  (604): i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later. http://tfl.nu/i15d
  Replies (41) Good night (777) Bad night (6881) Order T-Shirt
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  (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

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  (489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw
  Replies (48) Good night (5824) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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  (302): Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?" http://tfl.nu/v4rw
  Replies (27) Good night (6444) Bad night (1985) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you

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  (231): I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you http://tfl.nu/n6kx
  Replies (20) Good night (6073) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5588) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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  (352): He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number. http://tfl.nu/0dku
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (4317) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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  (617): wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara..... http://tfl.nu/je0j
  Replies (17) Good night (5342) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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  (850): if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him http://tfl.nu/ohx4
  Replies (4) Good night (2212) Bad night (1563) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.

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  (516): I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special. http://tfl.nu/z6a2
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single

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  (613): I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single http://tfl.nu/27nu
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

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  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
  Replies (5) Good night (850) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

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  (605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (196)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.

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  (857): His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time. http://tfl.nu/a23u
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (140)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

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