Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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