I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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