They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize