Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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