she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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