Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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