my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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