I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize