I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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