so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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