i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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