i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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