why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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