I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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