Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
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she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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