Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize