You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize