a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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