let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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