shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
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I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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