Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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(817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw

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(650): View more from California

I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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(650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history http://tfl.nu/ot0p

Replies (19) Good night (1089) Bad night (2537) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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(785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6

Replies (26) Good night (608) Bad night (5428)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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(337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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(203): i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool. http://tfl.nu/2evd

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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(678): Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember. http://tfl.nu/s3lo

Replies (51) Good night (4521) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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(631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr

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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(609): id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night http://tfl.nu/kxc6

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".

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(250): you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday". http://tfl.nu/bzic

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

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(336): Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye http://tfl.nu/fu4x

Replies (25) Good night (3457) Bad night (871)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

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(860): We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn. http://tfl.nu/ndq7

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(559): View more from California

Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.

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(559): Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face. http://tfl.nu/ufsv

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(904): View more from Florida

Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

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(904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7

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(319): View more from Iowa

Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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(319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd

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(229): View more from Georgia

I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.

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(229): I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win. http://tfl.nu/j7rq

Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (164)

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