this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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