I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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