Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize