You're my little dorito
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize