it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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