he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize