I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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