Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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