is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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