i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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