But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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