I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
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Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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