It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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