Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize