I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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