so that wasnt chicken after all
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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