Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My pussy is not your playground.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize