Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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