I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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