that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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