a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize