Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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