Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize