So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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